"We're like puppets"

This rather unusual and hard-worded claim belongs to Mikel Astarloza. The 32-year-old at times lashed out in an interview with El Diario Vasco today - but also revealed he's in good spirits ahead of the upcoming season.

"(To maintain my fitness level) I used to simulate racing in training when I was out of the sport. I did a lot of motor-pacing. I rode from Behobia to Santesteban and back aiming to sustain 60km/h all the way. When my suspension ended, I started to compete. I did the Tour of Beijing and some other races, but I would have preferred to take part in more races than I did. I finished up in Lombardia, took two weeks off the bike, and resumed training in early November. Returning to competition was much easier that I had expected. I felt a bit rusty in the Vuelta a Burgos, but still my condition was better than I had imagined it would be. That being said, obviously I reflect on what happened (when I tested positive). I lost two years of my life, from 29 to 31, allegedly the best in an athlete's career. I will never get those years back. I realized we (the riders) were just needles in a haystack, puppets at a circus. In stead of being the protagonists in all this, we're like puppets".

Judging by his performances at the tail end of 2011, Astarloza hadn't lost much physically. Psychologically though, the suspension took its toll.

"Mentally I took a hit. But I did my best to improve also in that respect day by day. I started to feel better little by little, and my motivation came back. I just couldn't understand why this was happening to me! I continued with my life though, just how I'd always done. There were no big changes in my life", he explained.

Despite retirement representing a tempting option, the former Ag2r rider kept at it. According to himself, because he just loves riding his bike.

"My desire is still there. If I was only interested in the money, I wouldn't have returned. I'm still motivated for taking by bike out for a spin. But above all, I was keen to compete again. I don't like to ride my bike, I like to race."

Being accepted back into the fold more often than not represents a tough proposition for former cheats. The peloton was kind on him though, and not only the Euskaltel riders.

"My relationship with the riders and staff is still good. Riders welcomed me back, and they were glad to see me. That also goes for the riders and directors at Ag2r. During my time out, I came to realize I had more friends than I though I did."